Jews Love Katamari

During the restful first two weeks of my "vacation" (the subsequent weeks now being taken up by teaching, preparing to TA in the new semester, and writing two articles), J. and I thoroughly enjoyed many hours of playing his new PS2 game, We Love Katamari . As with the previous Katamari game, addiction was inevitable. I have now downloaded the Prince Buddy feature and an Ichigo (the Strawberry Cousin) desktop. As with my past Katamari "problem," I have been saved from what would be endless hours of time-suckage by the fact that I have no PS2 and must get my fix during visits to J.'s abode.

One morning, while J. was still in Sleepyland, I thought up a new version of Katamari: Jews Love Katamari. For those of you who are not in the Katamari "know" (so-to-speak), the following will make little sense to you. For those of you who, like me, have followed breathlessly the adventures of our young Princeling and his overblown and over-sized father--read on.

"Jews Love Katamari" challenges:

• Roll up 10 minyan members and get them to the synagogue in 10 minutes or less.
• Gather in your Katamari only Kosher animals--with two locations: zoo or farm.
• Roll up all the hametz before Passover.
• Roll up as many different hats as possible (from kippot to baseball caps, streimels to Stetsons).
• Deliver the mishloah manot on Purim. For this one, the Katamari is actually made entirely of mishloah manot packages. You deliver a package by rolling over a person; the package gets left behind. The idea is to shrink your Katamari as small as possible.
• Gather all the hassidim for the Rebbe's tish.
• Roll up as many clowns, jugglers, musicians, and dancers as possible in order to entertain the bride and groom.
• Roll up water for the mikveh without either under- or over-estimating the correct measure.
• Collect the siddurim after services.
• Roll up grapes for kiddush wine.
• Roll up noisy things to drown out Haman's name on Purim.
  

The Katamari would have to be rolled through a variety of different landscapes of Jewish interest: synagogues, batei midrash, JCCs, cities in Israel. Presents would include kippot, tallit, tephilin, a streimel, an Israeli flag, a Torah, and a megillah.

Some changes would, of course, be required of the game:

• Instead of gathering flowers for ikebana, one would gather flowers for Shavuot decorations.
• The boy's room would have to be clean for Shabbat.
  
• Instead of rolling up clouds to clear the weather for a field trip, one would roll up the clouds so that it wouldn't rain on people's sukkot.
• The bonfire level would, of course, have a Lag Baomer theme.
  
• Most importantly, the King could not be the King of the Universe. Has vehalilah! There is only One Melekh HaOlam! Instead, the Katamari King would have to be the King of Chelm.