Planning for the Unthinkable and Unpredictable
As many of you know, I was rather disturbed by the events leading up to Terry Schiavo's death of this past spring. The family strife around her illness, the contradictory claims about her wishes and beliefs, the fact that this drama was played out in public and in a rather fantastic way--all of these demonstrated to me the importance of setting out one's health care wishes well in advance of any obvious illness, even for the young.
While I was at Kaiser last week for a doctor's appointment, I walked by the health education center and saw a poster for an Advance Health Care Directive Kit. I picked one up. Inside is the California Medical Association (CMA) materials, which are in harmony with the California laws enacted in 2000. (You can download these materiasl from the CMA, here: Your Living Will.)
Needless to say, completing these forms is not easy. The initial matter that has me in a quandary is who to appoint as my agent and alternate agents. Without any paperwork, the person who would be responsible for my health care decisions would be, I think , my mother. They would possibly also turn to my sister. Anyone who knows either of my nearest and dearest would readily understand that neither of them would be in any state to make important decisions should something catastrophic happen to me. So, neither my sister nor my mother are ideal candidates to be my agent.
That leaves me with two more family members who I might use, both of whom would be a bit more capable of making decisions in a state of grief: my uncle and my brother-in-law (that is, my sister's husband). Now things get even trickier. My uncle is a doctor. He has known me all my life. He has largely filled the hole left by my absent father. However, he's not familiar with the intricacies of Jewish law that I would want to guide my agent.
On to my brother-in-law... I think that this is one area of Jewish law in which we would mostly agree, despite his Orthodoxy and my Conservative ideology. Except one small thing: I'm not sure that I would want the letter of Jewish law followed if I were, say, in a persistent vegetative state for ten years. That is, I would possibly want nutrition and hydration stopped, despite the fact that neither falls under the category of medicine (which may be withheld) under Jewish law. And I couldn't ask my brother-in-law to go against his understanding of Jewish law.
Oy.
I thought in passing of my boyfriend, and whether or not I would trust him to make such decisions for me in the future, should we continue to be together. I was happy to realize that I would, even if it is too early to place such obligations on my sweetheart and not yet appropriate to do so.
Next, I tried to figure out who I would trust to make judgments according to an understanding of Jewish law in harmony with my own beliefs. I thought of a couple friends who are rabbis, whose wisdom, knowledge and compassion I trust. Maybe I will ask them if they would mind being consulted in case there is a lack of clarity on the part of my agent.
On a happier note, I am getting closer to completion of the baby blanket, and I have acquired access to a copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (since my sweetie is being altogether too patient with starting his copy for me to rely on reading it before I am confronted by the spoilers I have successfully avoided so far).
How do you know when your preoccupation with planning for an unforseen, devastating illness is practical or just plain morbid? Particularly when you are a healthy 30-year-old?I used to have durable power of attorney for health care, completed after a class on end-of-life issues while I was in rabbinical school. But that was many years ago, and I don't know where it is. My opinions on such matters have changed, and so have the laws in California.
While I was at Kaiser last week for a doctor's appointment, I walked by the health education center and saw a poster for an Advance Health Care Directive Kit. I picked one up. Inside is the California Medical Association (CMA) materials, which are in harmony with the California laws enacted in 2000. (You can download these materiasl from the CMA, here: Your Living Will.)
Needless to say, completing these forms is not easy. The initial matter that has me in a quandary is who to appoint as my agent and alternate agents. Without any paperwork, the person who would be responsible for my health care decisions would be, I think , my mother. They would possibly also turn to my sister. Anyone who knows either of my nearest and dearest would readily understand that neither of them would be in any state to make important decisions should something catastrophic happen to me. So, neither my sister nor my mother are ideal candidates to be my agent.
That leaves me with two more family members who I might use, both of whom would be a bit more capable of making decisions in a state of grief: my uncle and my brother-in-law (that is, my sister's husband). Now things get even trickier. My uncle is a doctor. He has known me all my life. He has largely filled the hole left by my absent father. However, he's not familiar with the intricacies of Jewish law that I would want to guide my agent.
On to my brother-in-law... I think that this is one area of Jewish law in which we would mostly agree, despite his Orthodoxy and my Conservative ideology. Except one small thing: I'm not sure that I would want the letter of Jewish law followed if I were, say, in a persistent vegetative state for ten years. That is, I would possibly want nutrition and hydration stopped, despite the fact that neither falls under the category of medicine (which may be withheld) under Jewish law. And I couldn't ask my brother-in-law to go against his understanding of Jewish law.
Oy.
I thought in passing of my boyfriend, and whether or not I would trust him to make such decisions for me in the future, should we continue to be together. I was happy to realize that I would, even if it is too early to place such obligations on my sweetheart and not yet appropriate to do so.
Next, I tried to figure out who I would trust to make judgments according to an understanding of Jewish law in harmony with my own beliefs. I thought of a couple friends who are rabbis, whose wisdom, knowledge and compassion I trust. Maybe I will ask them if they would mind being consulted in case there is a lack of clarity on the part of my agent.
As I continued to fill out the forms, I realized that I wanted to give more guidance than simple yes/no/let my agent decide answers to a few questions. So, I went to the Rabbinical Assembly (the official body of Conservative rabbis) web site, where an old Durable Power of Attorney can be downloaded in PDF format (mackler_care.pdf (application/pdf Object)). I think I'm going to have to cut-and-paste from that document to create another document of guidance to attach to the Advance Health Directives form.
With all of these efforts, one of the things that has surprised me most is that I have very specific concerns and opinions regarding plans for an illness I may never have or might not happen for fifty years. Instead of doing a cursory completion of the forms, I feel compelled to delve into my deepest beliefs about life, death, family, and my own mortality.
On a happier note, I am getting closer to completion of the baby blanket, and I have acquired access to a copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (since my sweetie is being altogether too patient with starting his copy for me to rely on reading it before I am confronted by the spoilers I have successfully avoided so far).
posted by Rochel Leah at
12:13 PM
1 Comments:
Great blog I hope we can work to build a better health care system as we are in a major crisis and health insurance is a major aspect to many.
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Anonymous, at 1:48 PM
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